No dating here

Acknowledgments: special thanks to Antonin Archer for helping me with this article.

Like many other women living in San Francisco, I'm intelligent, career-driven, highly motivated, attractive and (yes, you probably guessed it) single.

Most of the first dates led to nothing: we didn’t have much in common. As a founder, I stubbornly believe that everything is within my power to fix, and that something could have been done differently to force the decision in my favor. That was my best first date on more than 150, ironically the only one that hadn’t been part of my rigid routine. On our 5th date, she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Having more matches increased my odds of finding someone interesting, but it also became an addiction.

Dating at scale doesn’t go well with well fitting areas of interests. On the rare occasions when I was genuinely interested in a date, she wouldn’t be. With her there was no doubt: I needed a second date. Outside, she climbed on my shoulders and I ran uphill while she laughed. The possibility of meeting that many people made me want to meet every one of them, to make sure I wouldn’t miss the One.

This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested." Unfortunately, ghosting has become a common dating practice and tends to happen more often than not.

I explained to my friend that she should not be offended by the fact that she had been ghosted. "I've even been ghosted," I mentioned reassuringly. I hate to admit it, but I was recently called out by someone for ghosting.

Try not to get offended (unless you actually have been acting like an insecure nutcase). While I agree to certain extent, I've also noticed that people in San Francisco have become way too reliant on dating apps.Another issue is that culturally relationships are driven by men, at least in the first innings. Who knows, perhaps I’ll find my special someone through this post?This is different in the more progressive Scandinavian cultures. I want to thank the amazing women who participated involuntarily in this experiment. I decided to hack the system and go for volume instead of personalization. I was determined to find the One, even if it meant swiping right the whole Bay Area.I needed to come up with a rigorous and scientific process. You need a certain amount of candidates to be able to benchmark what quality means, and humans are really difficult to assess. I had to qualify each lead — see with which girl there was a fit and with which there wasn’t, to maximize chances of finding the One. Openers, follow-up messages, swiping, bookmarking, text messages and phone number recording. I assumed canned messages wouldn’t work well, but after over 10,000 sent, there wasn’t a significant response rate difference between personalized and generic messages. I became an online dating magician who knew how to optimize a profile — A/B testing pictures and message.